2008 is a year of change. I got teary today at the local
Jack in the Box after I biked there to get some food. An unlikely place for me to suddenly burst into tears, but it happened. The reason? I should have known it was going to happen once I saw a group of disabled teenagers (around ten) walk into the room as well. As soon as I saw them, I started getting emotional. My voice jumped an octave and my eyes were looking everywhere.
Now, before you write me off as another teenager who thinks disabled people are sick, gross, etcetera, let me make it clear -- I didn't get emotional because they repulsed me; I got emotional because I realized how lucky I was to be able to do the things that I can. Just watching them was enough to bring me to tears. After we had gotten in line, another man walked into the store. He gave the disabled teens a bad look, and 'accidentally' pushed one against the soda fountain. Before I could say something, the disabled teens' foster parent came to the rescue.
"Why are you pushing my kid around?" their foster parent asked.
"It was an accident!"
"I'm sure it was. Now go make your order, and get the hell out of here before I talk to the manager about how you were pushing my kid around."
I heard the rowdy teenager grumble as he looked to the ground. As you can imagine, this event made me even more emotional and I had to stand in a corner, or else everyone in the restaurant would stare at me. I could feel the foster parent's eyes on me as I was sniffling in the corner.
"Why are you crying?"
"N-n-nothing."
They called my order and I went to pick it up. I tried to avoid eye contact with the disabled teenagers and their father, but it was hard to do. When I looked up, my eyes were probably puffy, red, and frightening. I was about to leave the restaurant, but then I plucked up enough courage to say:
"Can I give you all a hug?"
Their father looked really protective of his children, but he nodded reluctantly and I approached them, giving them all big bear hugs. I probably left a huge splotch on all of their shirts because I was still crying. The father motioned for me to sit down with them to eat, and I accepted.
For the next twenty-minutes, I sat there, eating my food, and talking with the teenagers. They were abandoned when they were born because they had different defects. Some were blind, some were deaf, and some were even both. The more I talked, the more my phrases were being slurred, and in the end, I had to write down what I was trying to say on a napkin.
All of a sudden, the teenager sitting next to me started crying as well.
"I wish I could see what you looked like! I hate being disabled!"
Well, as you can imagine, this sent me into hysterics as I put my head down and started crying again. I put my hand on his, and I tried to comfort him.
"You're not disabled. You have a father that loves you, and brothers and sisters that will support you no matter what you want to do," I tried to say. All that I said ended up sound like, 'Mwahablahblahkahafalozoaflaf," but I think that the teenager understood what I was trying to say. "You all have so much to be proud of. If I was in your position, I probably wouldn't have the strength to get up in the morning. You are all my inspirations." Again, it came out as, "Blahmaofalofal."
My cell phone started ringing, and my mom told me that I had to be home soon. The teenagers all protested that they wanted me to stay so we could talk more, but I decided that it was time go. Before I left, I let them all run their hands over my face, so they could get an image of what I looked like. I also gave them my phone number, in case they ever needed someone to talk to -- except, I'm probably not a good person to talk to, because I'd probably start crying again. :roll: When I walked out the door, I turned my head one last time and saw them all waving at me. I was so busy staring at them, I rode my bike into a car -- thankfully, I wasn't hurt, and the Honda Civic involved in the collision was not scratched or dented.
I'm really thankful that I got to meet those teenagers, because if I hadn't, I would probably be another one of those teenagers who throws stones at the blind teenager just to make their life miserable. I have so much to be thankful for -- the ability to hear and see, and being able to walk out into the world and not have people staring at me. I have so many more opportunities and I haven't been taking advantage of all of that -- and I'm ashamed of myself.
If it rains tomorrow, I'm going to dance in the rain. If it's sunny tomorrow, I'm going to take a walk around the park and enjoy the breeze against my face. Over the summer, I'm going to volunteer at as many places as I can -- soup kitchens, retirement homes, you name them, I'll go. What I want to do is be able to make a difference -- to do something productive with my life, instead of always sitting at home, doing homework, or staring at a laptop screen.
They also made me realize what a spoiled lifestyle I'm living. I get to go shopping, buy clothes, buy shoes, etcetera. They enjoy the simpler things in life -- a $5 cheesecake is enough to make them happy. They don't have much, but they make the most of what they have. I'm going to try and change the way I live each day, and hopefully, I'll be successful. I've never been the one to self-discipline myself, so it's going to be a long and hard road.
So, what has been one event that has caused you to feel really emotional and rethink the things you do in life?
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