Memories can take your mind hostage, and never let go; especially the bad memories. Take my cousin for example. She miscarried her first child, and she's never been able to forgive herself. She's always questioning her actions, "Maybe I shouldn't have ate this food", "Maybe I shouldn't have exercised", "Maybe I shouldn't have..." She's been beating herself up about something that was probably out of her reach.
It hurts me to see a family member of mine in such pain. I wish I could reach out and tell her to just move on, but I can't. I can't force someone else to move on because they have to do it themselves.
If you find yourself in a situation like this, here are some ways to help you:
Forgive yourself. It's not something that's easily done, but it must be done in order to get on with your life. You have to forgive yourself for whatever you're done, and you'll eventually feel the pain fade away. In my cousin's case, she has to see that it wasn't her fault before she can truly continue to live her life.
What's done is done. You can't change the past. It's pointless to continue to berate yourself for something that you can't do anything about. Perhaps in the future, when scientists invent a way to take advantage of the space time continuum and have access to a wormhole, it may be possible to go back in time to change things, but for the moment, you need to see that what's done is done and there's nothing you can do about it.
You have to want to move on. This one is kind of obvious. In order to move on, you have to
want to move on. You can't keep dwelling on the past and letting that take advantage of your life. You have to see that moving on is for the better. I told my cousin this and she said that it would be, "Dishonoring my lost child." Would your child have wanted you to live a life of sorrow? If there is a heaven, find solace in the fact that he's looking down on you.
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