I'm sorry… friend?
Dear Person, Two years ago, you broke my arm. Obviously, I was bitter and angry at you for breaking my arm. I ignored you when you tried to talk to me, and our friendship slowly deteriorated into something that can not be called a friendship. A year later, I was still angry at you for breaking my arm, but the anger lessened -- I still held a personal vendetta against you though. However, I'm not the same person that I was two years ago. I've tried to forget about the things that have happened, but it's not that easy for me. Two years after you broke my arm, the anger has lessened to the point where it's almost nothing. What's stopping us from becoming friends again? I remember we used to be almost inseparable. I take the blame for this though. If I hadn't been so bitter, maybe we could have gone back to the way we were, but I'm trying. Today, you said we were alike. That's true, in a way. We are both critical about the people around us, and we both can't stand being wrong. We, are also both so high strung in our own beliefs that we can't get along with each other anymore. Both of us cannot accept the fact that we might have been wrong in our actions. I suppose that's a reason why our friendship can't work out the way we want it to. In terms of ying and yang, our friendship would be considered as a yin+yin, or a yang+yang. Two equal forces trying to become one, but not being able to. Instead, we're stuck in a sort of limbo, between friends and enemies. What I'm trying to get at is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the hurt feelings between us and the sort of awkwardness between us now. I'm sorry for bringing up the whole 'arm breakage' situation during inappropriate times. I'm sorry for still being bitter about things that happened a long time ago. But, how do you expect me to forget about the past? How do you expect me to just forget about all the mean words exchanged between us and just become friends again? I don't hate you, I just hate what we've become. What happened to the times where we could just talk and not think about things like broken arms and etc.? Again, that's partially my fault because I didn't _try_ to forget the past, but honestly, what do you expect me to do? Just throw away my cast and erase the memories? I am sick of having all this anger toward you inside me. I say I've gotten over it, but deep inside, I still know that I haven't. Still, I don't want to always stare at you with hate and disgust and have snarky things to say to you whenever I talk to you. I want to make this work; I just don't know how. However, if we're going to make this work, then we both need to try harder. So, I hope you read this letter, and I hope that we can someday work our issues out. If not, then you can't say that I didn't try, but I'm willing to work this out, but I'm not so sure about you. So, I'll see around school; friend, enemy, or whatever you want to call us.
Sincerely,
Alex
This entry was posted on November 20, 2007 at 08:18 PM and is filed under Personal,.