Growing pains
Well, being a teenager finally got to me. Fueled by my ever changing ever changing emotions and the new responsibilities that come with being a teenager, I had a panic attack. Wasn't I the one that was preaching about how being a teenager was easy if you channeled it all into an alternative source -- like music? Boy, was I wrong. My panic attack was composed of many different and conflicting thoughts -- about friends, family, my future, you know, the works. Everything just came to me so fast while I was practicing piano. You know what they say, Mozart stimulates the brain.... The questions and doubts that I asked myself went something along the lines of... What if everyone in my family dies, and I'm the only one left? What if my best friend moves away? What if I can't survive in high school? What happens if an earthquake strikes, and my family is left broken and homeless? Being a teenager is really hard sometimes. You're caught somewhere in between being a kid and becoming a man. Sometimes, all these thoughts overwhelm me, and it seems like I'm falling into something that I can't get out of. Sometimes, I want to be independent and free, but other times, all I want to do is curl up in a ball at my mother's feet and have her tell me that everything will be okay. Where has my childhood gone? Has it all been spent worrying about things that a child shouldn't be worrying about? When other children were having fun, playing Pokemon and running around with underwear on their head, I spent my time worrying about my family, and wondering if it was going to rip at the seams. It seems like every day I wake up, and I'm a different person. I have a variety of different moods and personalities, and I can never seem to stay the same person for long. I can be intellectual at times, I can be obnoxious, I can be annoying, but I can never be the same person for a long period of time. At times, I can be outgoing, other times I can be what some people call "emo" and stop talking to people. I'm scared of what I'm going to become when I progress into the more intense "teenage years" because on some days, it seems like I can't control what I'm doing. Will I become a drug dealer? Will I become a gang member? Will I be a father at the age of 16? Hopefully, my friends will give me a slap in the face if I ever get into any of those things (that is not to say, that you can go around slapping me though). Why does being a teenager have to be so hard?
Only six more years of this... this is only my first year too! Anyone want to give me some chill pills?
This entry was posted on May 18, 2008 at 10:10 PM and is filed under Personal,Thoughts,.
By Emz · on May 18, 2008
Haha, I’m one of the kids you mentioned that was playing Pokemon. Though I didn’t wear my pants on my head :P
Don’t worry about all that stuff, because being all worried and pessimistic is supposed to take years off your life! So as the song goes: “Don’t worry, be happy” :D
Hang on in there for six more years… :)
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Alex, I seriously believe that you are not having a panic attack. You are thinking too much. I think those stuff you mentioned also, but I don’t take what I thought seriously. :=]
“Has it all been spent worrying about things that I child shouldn
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I know it can be hard sometimes. =(
But, these are some of the best years of our lives. We’ll look back and want to enjoy everything that we did, all over again. =)
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Pokemon, gotta catch them all.
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Will it make it worse if I tell you that you’ll have scary thoughts about the future for a long time, and not just during your teen years? :D
Well, I haven’t been out of teenage land for long, I turned 20 a little more than a month ago, but I think that the future will always be uncertain. It’s true that at some moments it will be more predictable than others, but unexpected things are always possible and change is inevitable. You’re probably having those freak-outs because you are starting to see the uncertainty of the future, transitioning out of the careless world of childhood. You’ll get used to thinking “anything can happen”, and it will still be rather scary when you think about it, but it’ll probably happen less often. You’ll learn to face things as they come, and I hope that all those things that come are good. Really :)
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Haha…I agree with a lot of what Erik says. Everyone gets these, even adults and even little kids (I was one of them, who questioned everything in my head). Don’t worry about it. Consider yourself experiencing the male version of PMS. :)
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Wow, this is like the exact same thing I wrote for one of my essays:
http://douteux.net/growingpains.php
I understand what you mean… being a teenager sucks.
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Hahhh my birthday is 10 days away from yours.
..wow sorry for that totally irrelevant comment.
:]
-thumbs up-
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Just because being a kid doesn’t always mean you have the mind of one. I grew up thinking the same thing. I AM STILL think the same thing. Until recently I’ve been in a state of confusion. Ha, well… no worries. Just remember that tomorrow is a day that no one will know. No use worrying about something that’s yet to happen right? ;D Good on growing up~ Enjoy every moment of it, no matter how tough it may be. You’ve got a lot of time to realize things still.~ Finding yourself is one of life’s longest and most difficult roads. Good luck.
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Wow! Nice layout :D I love everything about it! Awesome :)
Oh, about the site in case you’re wondering, it’s taken a while, but I’ll probably open on the 1st of June. A nice even date and all that :P
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I’m liking this layout, Alex. Very, very spiffy.
Being a teenager hasn’t really… changed me. And I don’t think you should dwell too much on the past; because everyone was brought up differently. And if it makes you feel any better, I never actually ran around in my underwear either. I was too busy babysitting my baby brother. I was more of an 8 year old going on 30. That’s changed now, of course, I’m like a 13 year old going on 2.
And I’ve never been to a birthday party. (Like a full blown, McDonalds party-hat-wearing icecream-cake-eating party). Which is why I want one for my 18th. Good plan, no?
I think Pokemon was boring. Barbie owns all.
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Most of us are still experiencing our “teen years” even past those teen years. You don’t grow up until you really…grow up…haha.
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Whoa… you’re back so soon? I thought the site was down.
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ehh I don’t think being a teenager is quite hard..I’ve gone through mine,as I’m soon to be 19 and it’s pretty much over.
as a teenager you get more options but not enough to go crazy about…I believe an adult is harder,you have no bills to pay,you dont have a car,you live with your parents,you aren’t responsible for feeding yourself continuously.
Perhaps your over reacting.
If this is how you take your first teenage years..your definatly in for worst.
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My brother still plays Pokemon and he’s a year older than you. :P
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Chill pills? Hey, I’m going to slap you if you ask for some drugs again!
Don’t worry; you’re really talented and have a big headstart above others (at least me).
He, am I your best friend that might move or is it eric or is it justin or who? O.o
:)
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I know exactly what you mean. I just “became a teenage” back in March. And the part that always gets me is waking up in the morning and being a COMEPLETELY different person from the day before, that’s the wierdest feeling. :P
I suggest getting a mentor or someone you can completely look up to and trust to not let you go insane. *Although my mentor just left for three months* But I’m okay. But yeah as I was saying, people that are there to tell you you’re not a freak and that really you’re okay.
Anyway… Wow, long comment for just randomly commenting on someones blog. :P
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