Dear Symphonic Band people,
Why do you all constantly feel the need to talk in class?
Band is just another class. I'll be willing to bet that you all don't talk in your math/science/etc. class, so why should band class be any different? Just because you're holding an instrument instead of a pencil doesn't mean that you can just randomly play it or just start randomly talking about useless things. Who cares if you have an ingrown toenail, or just went shopping for socks? Those types of things just need to be kept to yourself. Do you want our band instructor to die due to frustration?
To Mr. Obnoxious-saxophone-player, why do you feel the need to break into Charlie Parker's
Confirmation or Sonny Rollins'
Doxy, every time we stop playing a song? To be brutally honest, you're not good enough to be able to interrupt the class with your pointless attempts at jazz. Your tone is scratchy, thin, and the people around you cover their ears and tell you to shut up when you start playing. You also think it's cool to move your neck back and forth like a chicken when you play saxophone in an attempt to look cool; well, it's not working.
To Mr. Loud-Clarinet, why do you feel the need to have 'clarinet wars' with the person sitting next to you? Your clarinet is not meant to be a sword, so don't treat it like one. Also, why do you feel the need to play as loud as you can on the high, shrill notes? Do you want to make the whole band deaf? You need to grow up.
To Mr. Comic-Drawer: Why do you pass around your self-drawn comics during band class? I understand that you might want to be a comic artist one day, but it's not acceptable to be passing it around during band class. You also need to get over your obsession of Green Day and stop wearing Green Day shirt to school. I would understand if you had a whole closet full of Green Day clothes, but you only have one Green Day shirt that you wear every day. To be honest, it's starting to smell.
To Mr. Wannabe 1 and 2, why do you feel the need to talk every time we stop playing a song? The first thing that we all hear after we stop playing is your voices'. You also worry more about your hair then you do about the band's sound. If we get under a Superior rating at the upcoming music festival, it is because you distracted the class by your incessant talking.
To Ms. Blame-it-on-the-instrument: When will you learn that your bad clarinet tone is because of you, and not your clarinet or reed? You've tried every reed in your case and also tried one of mine, and you still sound weird. I also even let you try my clarinet, and you still sound strange. You blame it on your 'dud' reeds, but it's you, not the reed. A good instrument doesn't make a good player. If you never practice, of course you're going to sound horrible. Here are your options: 1) Start practicing or 2) Stop complaining before I hit you with the backside of my hand.
Sincerely,
Alex Qin
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